Thursday Thanks

Giving thanks to the heavenly cosmos for giving me a safe and rich life, knowing that what doesn't please me but is a challenge that I can share with my soulmates. Blessed Be.

Wednesday Random

Am so glad to be off work next week, I can't wait. I'm going to try not to be superwoman, just keep God close to me in my thoughts and be grateful that I can goof off. I am grateful for such nice co-workers who are good hearted and well intended. And I'm grateful when I remember to ignore my own thinking, yesterday with the help of another member we came up with the opposite of magic thinking. It is tragic thinking, that's what's good about today, awareness.

God, Be With Me Today

I used to run on and on when I prayed. Now, it's more like 'please, please, help me', 'thank you, thank you' or just 'God . . .'. It's faith that he/she/them know what I need.

Faith, that's what's good about today.

Such a Good Parent

That's my higher power, actually. Today the words stood out to me, that I was under the protection and care of my higher power.

I have no worries or complaints if I keep that front and center in my life.

What's good about today is comfort with myself in the world.

A Recovering Person

Or, more truthfully, a Discovering Person. I said good-bye to my CoDA group. I'll pop in at some time but I no longer expect regular attendance from myself and wanted to explain my absence. The meeting is an hour away on Saturday mornings and I find that I like that time better for attending to my life. At one time, it was better use of my time to go to this fabulous meeting. Now my life is more interesting to me and I want that time to be spent closer to home.

As in previous post, after 10 years in Alanon, I haven't been to a meeting in some time. I would like to visit my old home meeting and I know I will some day, it takes place early in the evening and I am usually eating or am in transit from work.

So, happily, I will continue to be at the am open AA meeting, a place of healing and reconciliation, meets every day but Sunday. Today I'm headed to church. Tomorrow I want to talk to a meditation leader, a follower of P. Yogananda. Years ago I had a Kriya experience which was quite beautiful . . .

What's good about today is my higher power, all knowing and abundant, to which I turn my face and thoughts.

Fable of the Two Wolves

Joe, in program, told this fable during a meeting the first time that I heard it. There was a young Indian boy listening to his grandfather tell a story about the two wolves that live in all of us. One is needlessly aggressive, prone to jealousy, rage and grandiosity. The other was strong in a peaceful way, looked out for other people, tending to his business in an orderly fashion. The boy asked which wolf rules a person and his grandfather replied that it is the one that is fed.

When I feed my ego by focusing on my attachments and achievements I not only lose sight of my higher power, I strengthen my ego, making it harder than ever to rein it in and attend to my spiritual life.

What's good about today is that I can hear things through the filter of the twelve steps and add the wisdom of other members to my understanding.

Doing Just F.I.N.E.

Desperation tinged with hope. Nothing else gets me to meetings. There's fellowship in that!