OOPs

Just claiming my seat.

The biggest stress that I need to pay attention to is 'tired'. The 't' in HALT does it for me every time. I have watched myself today. I've been judgemental, here and there. A little quick to react. Aggravated by environ noise and multitude of signals being sent.

What's good about today is knowing my limits and my triggers can keep me from sabotaging myself and others.

Tuesday, Just Listening Today

Hello, you wonder-full recovering bloggy writers!

Am reading and commenting here and there. Nothing much to say, went to my meeting tonight, a joint one with Alanon/Alateen. Equal seats taken! Good topic, good meeting. There's not much to say when things are going well, is there?

Actually, it's not that things are going any certain way at all. Things are just things. I am the one at peace. Ready to go to bed soon. And most likely, I will be granted a new day.

What's good about today is that I am grateful for God's Tender Mercies, a line taken from a favorite movie, Tender Mercies.

There's Always Sumpin'

A couple weeks back someone with decades of program under his belt said something caustic and annihilating about an ex-wife. On a later day, I heard him share at a meeting that he heard a lot of love and concern in the room, that up to a year or so earlier he could not have sat through such a meeting but now he realizes that he has more to learn.

My phone buddy and I have been talking two or three times a week. Each time we converse it is because I called. She says she has a problem making calls. She is right. She is great at talking, great at listening, great at answering the phone. Not so great at initiating. But that's what she told me.

What's good about today is people who know where they are blocked, can say it and that I can hear it without thinking that it's about me.

God, (Please) Grant Me the Serenity . . .

Someone was recently blogging about the paradox in the program and the steps. One that occurs to me this morning is that the more awareness and acceptance I have about myself, the more easily that I can let it (ego) go. So, I have to bring it close to release it.

If I can see my defects, great.

If I can see my defects as part of my liquid landscape, good to know about but not part of my hardwiring, greater.

If I can see the defects as part of a story acted out by ego, not the reality of my relationship with a higher power, better yet.

More On Self-Acceptance

This means that

+my relationship with family will likely continue in the way it always has (I do not have to 'try harder', I been doin that!)

+I am single and will likely continue that way, I don't have to obscess on it unless I enjoy spending my time doing that-NOT

+my eating and exercise habits are middle of the road, have been for decades, any efforts to change/control are useless self-flagellation, I was not blessed with persistence (one factor saving me from addictions)

In other words, I can accept that life will progress along much in the same fashion that it has for decades. Embedded in that life are many joys and pleasures which will continue as well. Most of all, I can keep my thoughts in the day and not set up ego-gratification goals that don't reflect my reality.

So, what's good about today is loving myself as a creature of God.

July 25th, really

The point is that I love me. And I love you. And that is all.

Acceptance

This morning I was second in line on the round robin and I shared that what was important to me today is acceptance. By this, I mean that I practice accepting myself as I am. I do much better at accepting others than myself. Me, I always want to improve.

There is a sign in the corner of a window of a nearby art studio that says 'never apologize for your art'. That gives me a feeling of power just reading it. I may have to make an amends here and there but I need not apologize for who I am.

And that is what is good about today.