During this past weekend I was one of the zillion New Englanders housebound awaiting the end of the blizzard. I downloaded an AA speaker tape and what I heard, first of all, made me jump to my feet to check my Big Book. That has NEVER happened before.
I had to open it up to pages 60 to 63 and read about self centered ness and self will being at the center of this disease. The warmth of the truth excited me. I had to read again what I had heard. Alcohol is a mere symptom of the disease. If alcohol were the problem, it would be an easy life for most of us after it is taken away. It is my truth. The disease is spiritually based, I put myself first in everything in thought word and deed. Over and over again I can ride that merry go round wondering why I still want something else.
Self seeking avails us nothing. God, (she laments) save us from ourselves.
The speaker had also read the words before, being a near Big Book thumper having gone through the chapters and the Steps many times before. At many 24 hours sober he was dedicated to the program and, yet, intensely discontent. He had been lead by others who passed on the wisdom they had learned from others. Someone was put into his life that helped him to read it again with an emphasis that saved his spiritual life. That person continues to be his sponsor today.
As he said, he doesn't know how often in his sober life he was closer to a drink than he would have dreamed. God carries us always, more than we can know.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the good news for today.
