Thursday, April 22, 2010

Thank You Thank You Thank You

One of the themes in the am meeting today was the feeling of family in 12 step programs. Ten years ago I found the friendship of 'aunts and uncles' in meetings that I had never had in biological family. They are now brothers and sisters and if I last another 10 years, I suppose I will have some program 'children'.

As I drove away, it struck me that a good meeting has a strong deep in the gut level of truth and, also, a reverence for higher power. I have been to many Alanon or CoDA meetings that degenerate into 'he said, she said and then I said' renditions, short on Experience, Strength and Hope.

What's good about today is that the morning meeting seldom disappoints and that I got a chance to speak my truth today.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Retreat, Revamp, Re-Enter

So, I was at the open AA meeting the other day and the discussion gravitated toward the unfamiliar habit of following instructions. It is a human trait to resist instructions whether they are in the Big Book or included with a toy you want to put together. It comes down to ego and it's relentless need to be 'right' even within the landscape of surrender.

The phrase 'my best thinking got me here' described me when I came into Alanon (and is why I cannot stray too far away). I was out of good ideas, in over my head and knew that the answers were beyond my experience. I was never a member who thought she had the right instructions, you know, I wasn't like the ones who want to tell their alcoholic exactly what they need to do.

What's good about today is that I've learned not to follow my busy brain into battle. Better that I hang back and use the rest of my senses to inform me. Even better is that I know that my higher power wants only the best for me and that each moment and action hold the opportunity for grace.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


Mom went back to Ohio this past weekend. I am immensely relieved but still feel like she's going to come round the corner, I caught myself feeling down about going home from work and then remembered that she is gone. It is all right now. Me, the man-boy, the fuzzy dog.

I'll go to the mtg tomorrow, I'll do whatever I want. I know she's just a fragile human. We all are.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Do You Feel Safe? Really?

I worry all the time. Needlessly, of course. It is an old habit. If I am to shake it, I really need to go to a higher powered place every day. I just erased a long post illustrating the issue of 'safety' for me. My next piece of art will be about being enveloped in the arms of abundance. I can't wait to feel better. That's what's good about today, hope.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Six Word Saturday

simply loved by one who knows