Sunday, January 9, 2011

Hey Kidz

I feel new.

There is some cleaning house that I need to do. Some rocks that I've been carrying on my back that I need to toss.

I need to quit the bible class that I've been struggling to attend. Some of the women have become dear to me and I do get some insights from it but the rewards are puny compared to the drivel in which I need to read/listen/participate. My co-dependence stuff rises up big time 'its' a small, struggling group, they need me'. No group needs someone whodoes notwant to be there. Adios, with Love. I could put that on my tombstone, my divorce certificate, sending my mother back to Ohio.

I am living with active disease. I have no particular trust in myson. I still love him but I hve little patience with the lies and cheating that come through him. It has propelled me back into self care. I need to do the things that protect me. I'm cutting the cable down to fit myinterests. He's not paying for his own stuff much less the frills in this home. I'm giving him the car for a nominal sum. I don't want my name on it or to participate in decisions about it with a man I can't trust.

I have an idea for a cartoon strip to enliven 12 step. I feel a buoyancy that has been missing. I have stopped the low dose of antidepressant tht has a laminating influence on me. I feel a new energythat emantes from my core and is my more true spirit.

And what's particularly good about today is that there are places that I can share this in the hopes that it spreads the hope and message of the program that they might be as happy as I am right now. And it''s off to church that I go, I love communion and my God's love. Happy Day to all of you.


  1. Be well, good luck with dropping those rocks!! (there's an awesome recovery book entitled "Drop the Rock" that deals with the 6th Step and losing character defects. I'm not saying you need to readt it, it just came to mind)

    I pray for your son, and for you!

  2. excellent!

    Aloha from Waikiki

    Comfort Spiral



  3. Excellent posting of feelings, emotions so true. And I WANT TO TELL YOU: I sure needed to read this, "...'its' a small, struggling group, they need me'." OMG this guy keeps asking me to join his group of three. I've been there, do not like it. He should join MY group of 33...

    And "...Adios, with Love." THANKS for that one, Carol!

    And here IS one place you can share it--and DID!