Monday, January 24, 2011

I Don't Know What I'm Up To

One of my most favorite Alanon people always brought up motives as a question when debating taking action on something. She counseled that we should always ask ourselves what our motives are for fear that we do something totally 'innocent' that is not the best for others or for ourselves.

What are my motives?? I'm thinking about some work changes which is nothing new. Many times I want to make sweeping changes when, really, I'm seeking relief from anxiety. Through program, I've got some awareness about that. When I get a GREAT NEW IDEA, it often turns out to be sort of a new idea, pretty similar to one of my old ideas that didn't really change anything except that it resulted in a geographical type move that only brought me around 360 degrees. Right back where I started with the illusion that I was getting somewhere.

So, as one of my favorite alcoholics said a couple years ago . . . I don't know what I'm up to. But what I do know is that my HP is in charge and with an open heart and mind, I will always be exactly where I'm supposed to be.


  1. Carol, Hi. Interesting about motive, and I have heard that said quite a number of times.

    IF my spiritual house is in order, well kept (it is not!) then I'd need not be concerned about motives--they'd most certainly be OK. Guess the key-words are awareness but action! My opinion, OK?

  2. Yes, I have to check my motives. I will still plunge ahead with something and not stop to inventory. Those results are generally not good.