Being a 54 year old means that I do not look like a girl at all but as the tasks of middle age drift away from me I feel more like a girl than I have for some time. It's more precise to say that I'm living like a girl, I go to work (school) Monday through Friday and engage my above the neck apparatus to get good accounting rates (grades). I spend time cleaning & decorating my house (room), trying not to eat too many cookies and am innocent of alcohol and other mood altering substances.
I'm not dating anyone or even eyeing anyone on my radar. For the first time in decades, I have some favorite TV shows and almost know what day and time that they are scheduled. I go to church services and adult education (Sunday school) to a place recommended by others (Chrissy Tyson's grandmother would pick me up along with some other neighbor kids). My son (another kid) lives with me but we tool along in our individual fashions (parallel play, identifiable at the toddler stage).
My mother once complained that I was not a source of neighborhood information. I'm still not, just a nodding acquaintance, happy to be at an arms length away from confidences. It's true that I now worry about whether my roof will hold up or whether my son will get his life together. But at my best, my head is where my feet are and I trudge along the road (to happy destiny), just like the girl that I've always been.
The Gift of Desperation...
2 hours ago