Nothing Comes on My Time Line, A Good Thing

Still having computer woes, think the modem is not installed correctly but since my computer guru is young and all, I will keep it to myself. Okay, I mentioned it twice but I'm not bringing it up again. Am going out of town this weekend so will take my new baby on the road and see if his performance is still spotty.

I find myself debating some of my habits. Who do I choose for friends, what is it that they value in me. How do I spend my time. I am more involved in the process of art than I am interested in 12 step meetings. How do I say goodby in some parts of my life.

Man, I'm tired. I really like it when things stay the same and then about 5 minutes later I get itchy with it and reach out for change. Then I get scared that I'll never be able to handle it, control it? Long for structure. Get structure. Long for change. Reach out, well you get the idea.

Listen, the coolest thing happened today. I am on facebook (I refuse to honor it with a capital letter) only because I could not successfully remove myself from that network. So, today I was contacted by my date for my 8th grade dance. We were both tortured by it and apparently it still takes up space in our heads. I didn't tell him that I never had another date or went to a dance until I was well out of school.

What's good about today is that my heart is in recovery not in illness. I am blessed and often have the grace to realize it.