This is my 3rd start. Don't really recall what I want to say so **warning, warning** I will be random . . .
There but for the grace of God go I . . . I'm blessed not to have the disease of addiction, I was a dedicated amateur for ten years, from my late teens to my late twenties. By then my first marraige had ended, I was feeling glum enough not to want to add a hangover to it and so my drinking got less and less over each year. As the Big Book says, I was able to drink like a gentleman. Now I'm pretty random about it.
I have not attended an Alanon mtg in 4-5 months, maybe longer. It doesn't interest me except as my entry point into recovery. No one's drinking bothers me, if it comes up I know where I need to go. I invited active disease into my life for 28 months, its been gone for over five years, I've given back to the program with service etc for long enough, the meetings don't interest me. About a year ago, I was attending all three programs, Alanon, CoDA and a daily open AA mtg. Now it only the morning AA mtg that I attend. I find plenty to think about there, ego, isolation, depression, hope and discovery.
What's good about today is that I have a relationship with my higher power and it's manifestation through other people, I am at curious peace when I follow his (her, their) call.
The Gift of Desperation...
2 hours ago