It's been a rocky few days, lost my emotional sobriety over some stuff at work. I hadn't thought about blogging on it until I read Syd's post ( I'm Just F.I.N.E. ) today, scroll down to the bottom and read the poetry that gives the analogy of being a guest house. People, places, things, thoughts come into us, stay awhile and then move along. I've been visited by martyrdom this week.
Martyrdom doesn't visit me that often, I'm a youngest child--I evade responsibility when possible. Anyway, I know I can be a tad serious at work. Meaning that others have mentioned that to me. Through the decades. Okay, something to pray about.
As I said in a meeting, I am the star victim in my story. So, I've been a big poop at work, a joy to be around and I've not been able to shake it. The answer to me is that I need to take better care of myself. I put in for a week of vacation. And then I'll put in for another week in September. I've been amazingly miserly with myself, trying to fashion a long weekend here and there, going bullshit when it doesn't work out, accepting this bad behavior from myself that I would never accept from anyone else, all because I've not asked for help.
A gift was foisted on me yesterday. I now have to clock in like others, initially I took it as just one more _____ thing to remember. Today, I see it as a gift, I will have to clock in and out for lunch, one more reinforcement to take care of myself. I can work overtime if I need to and I will be paid for it. What a concept!!!!
So, let those guests come to my house, what's good about today is putting my agape to the test!
Trace The Lull
2 hours ago