I was in an emotional fugue yesterday, swung around in a different direction & struggling to figure it out. The only soothing thing antidote was to come across that quote in yesterday's post, 'with compassion, welcome the demon'.
That must have taken hold of me overnight. And it married with the comment often heard at AA meetings, 'I've given up my right to drink'.
What happened was that somewhere in my emotional stew, I realized that whatever condition my soul or my brain were in, each day would go on pretty much like the others. Saturday, do my chores. Sunday, go to church, etc.
I've given up my right to suffer. My suffering is an inside manifestation, it's what I default to, it has become a bad habit for me. To deny it would be to ask for more trouble, but instead I acknowledge it as a part of my make up. But I will NOT give it anymore energy. It is like a CD in my collection that I recall but that I'm not interested in playing any longer.
What's good about today is a change in my play book.
3 hours ago