Monday, December 28, 2009

Any Ideas?

You know there is a path that my mother sometimes gets on that annoys me. It gets me so quickly that it's hard to identify what just happens, I'm not sure why it sets me off. She will say something like 'Oh Carol, it's too bad that you have to put up with your old mom, it's not really fair to you for me to be foisted on you, you have your own life'.

My remark to her this evening was to ask her if she knew that she was smiling as she said that and that I feel like she is just playing a game. I feel demeaned as if I'm made to be her audience or maybe I resent her dramatizing. I'll ask my program friend in the morning for some feedback and I'll make it back to Tuesday night meeting too.

What's good about today is awareness. And patience, always patience. And asking for help, that's a very good thing about today.

4 comments:

  1. Awareness. Yesss, that's GooooD. In fact is that not like Step one: Admitted--I became aware?

    As an artist, you are probably more aware than many Peeps.
    Thank you.

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  2. Sometimes silence is the best revenge.

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  3. That's what I call a self pity manipulation. I can feel that one and when aware of it can choose not to respond. It is something that I have been exposed to with my parents.

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  4. I think that it is self pity, too. Both of my parents were depressive. So was I for years and then I came to program and saw it as self pity and no spiritual life despite the fact that I looked for it everywhere.

    Thank you all for your help.

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