Monday, December 14, 2009

Well, I've Got Her

Living with someone with dementia is like living with someone with active disease. Emotional labile outbursts, neediness and dependence, irrational thought processes. Oh, my.

So, it pushes me deeper into my program. I'm driven to attend to my creative self, I've been writing away, using some of her mutterings to counter mine, who knows where this takes us . . . my faith is deep enough that I trust the process and I remember that it is just a day or a moment at a time.

The experience unfolding in my house, let's not forget the high school senior enjoying the distraction away from himself (recently confronted by me about marijuana use), is as it is, neither good or bad. The day is beautiful in it's own way and I am grateful for it's gifts regardless of whether they are the ones that I requested.

And that's what's good about today.


  1. We had not quite the total involvment which you are experiencing, Carol, but Anna's mother, who DID live close by, died of that disease some years back.

    Horrible, debilitating. Hopefully, you have someone who can be in your place, when you need a day (or two or more) to be somewhere else

    You are learning more then most now, about patience, tolerance, caring, giving, and loving. It will change your whole outlook on life.

    Stay close to your program, are you an Alanon regular? I would wish for you to have a sponsor in Alanon, (if that is your program...) and/or be able to force yourself to call her, or SOMEONE ELSE daily--that means every day...for you, girl...for you!

    Our prayers are of course, for your mother, but especially they are for YOU, dear girl, who now will know that life does really have meaning.

    One Day At A Time (one hour, one MINUTE at a time...sometimes!

    I hope you stay in the blog world, and I would like to see more support from us Peeps out here. Stay warm, Carol. God be with you.

  2. Carol, dealing with an elderly parent is hard enough but add dementia in and it is so difficult. My mother suffered from severe depression on and off for the last 20 years of her life. It took a toll on me and my wife who were her caregivers. I loved her very much, but when she was depressed she was hard to be around.