Monday, September 21, 2009

Explore Daily The Will of God

A quote from Carl Jung. I read it this morning in Artist's Way and am tuned into what will be coming out soon, a notebook of art and thoughts called the Red Notebook which was kept under lock and key for quite awhile after his death, for more background see yesterdays NY Times, probably the magazine section, I read it on-line.

Jung is one of those leaders who dared mentioned God. My masters is in counseling, BA in psychology and in the 1980's never the twain shall meet. Spirituality and Psychology/Psychiatry. So, I worshipped at the altar of higher education but I never found my answers there.

Which I think is idiotic. In my world, the basis of all is spirituality and if there is something amiss, then the answer for me has been to tweak my relationship with that which has no name, the source, the god/dess, the power that is greater than my understanding. Obviously, I am going to give the caveat that there are imbalances that need medical attention, yadda, yadda.

As I look back, like a Monday morning quarterback, I veered far off the track as I studied. My separation from God had everything to do with my long standing depressive feelings and obsession with suicide. But I couldn't find the path. I worshipped at churches and I worshipped at school and I worshipped at others and marvelled at their seeming appearance of fellowship and home in the world.

It has been a long road and I'm not finished yet. In an Alanon book there is a Wendell Berry quote about making your journey and feeling yourself to be at home in the end. It is enough that I feel myself happier than ever before. That puts me at a 6-7 on a scale of 1-10 (ten being the highest, wise guys!).

What's good about today is that although I do not feel myself to be at home, I am at a very good resting place. As if on a backpacking trek, I can sit by the brook, hang some clothes out on the branches to dry and face the sun to drink in it's greeting.

1 comment:

  1. I feel much more at home with who I am than ever before. I am grateful for so much and recovery is at the top of the list.