Arrgh

Just a very fatigued, almost crying in front of people kind of day. Didn't think of the Serenity Prayer but also didn't get into a car accident either. Got up at 5am after being awake for an hour, typed up some pages, talked to my program friend. Talked about how even we get sick of program, want life to be easy and quiet, I shared that I wondered if I am even tougher on myself because I have program affiliation, I have a larger sense of expectations. I honestly thought about throwing myself out today, just dissolving into my bad self. But I also could get outside of myself and remind me that it is fatigue and that's a killer for me.

Awareness is what's good about today, acceptance may be what's good about tomorrow.