Thursday, January 14, 2010

Well . . . It Got Me Out of the House

The Alanon meeting that I attended tonight focused on Step 9 questions in one of the step books. The nature of the questions and the nature of the shares highlighted belly button gazing and mental masturbation. Most of these folks have been in 5+ years and a few 15+ years in the program and for God's sakes if you haven't gotten your amends straightened out by now, I support them putting it on the back burner. Speaking for myself, I start to smell the odor of narcissism. Did I hurt myself, did I hurt others. Who knows, there are no mistakes in God's world, what happened happened, including the amends that did or did not happen. I'm wise not to exaggerate my importance in other people's lives.

Keep a strong Step 10 in action and look back but don't stare.

My primary relationship is with my higher power, the rest of my life pales in comparison.


  1. ..."look back but don't stare." That phrase, and the last line say to all, "Carol" you have really got a handle on understanding your program.

    A beautiful blog, so meaningful, so honest, for us, young and new, or old-timers. Thank you!

  2. Belly button gazing and mental masturbation--LOL. I can identify with what you write here. I am glad to have made my amends and to believe that when I am wrong, I need to promptly admit it. It is such a simple program but so difficult for many to put into practice.

  3. Carol, I cannot tell you how much this post will serve as a reminder for me... look back but don't stare... I can do this.

    Missed you - glad to be back if only part time.

    I went private because I was trying to decide to delete the blog or keep it. I needed the time to think about it without leaving out in the open, to see how I felt about not having it there, to share.
    Turns out, I kinda like that I have my history for the past (almost two years) in black and white. It is me, my thoughts, my feelings and it is worth keeping.

    So I will try and post once a week, and hope to even change up my style a bit.