Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Black and White, That's So Yesterday

Nice Alanon meeting tonight, my old home meeting. The chairwoman read something out of the bulletin about black and white thinking. It became the focus of her share and it resonated with me.

Lately, I've been much calmer, just letting people have their opinions, detaching with love, I guess. At work I can identify with them as they try to be the smart one, the experienced one or the powerful one. But I just feel like I'm passing through on my way in life, I focus on what I need to finish that day, keeping my head where my feet are.

Nothing is black and white anymore, or right and wrong. My hackles don't go up like they used to when I felt that someone was telling me that I was wrong. I'm not perfect but I do try to just take it in, let them know that I'll think about it or I gently set them straight if it is something simple. I've been able to leave my ego at the door.

The only way I can do this is if I start my day in a sacred place and end it with a prayer. The in between stuff is just details which I accept on those terms, tomorrow is another day with another story. The spiritual beginning and end to the day keep me right sized, the size of a human, just like ants on a anthill, humans on a human-hill.

My dirty little secret? I can practice this in meetings, at work or with neighbors. But, put me in a relationship or a stressful job and it's a tough road. I would like to practice this within a relationship some time. My appreciation goes out to all of you in a relationship, it's as tricky as it gets, I think.

What's good about today is knowing where some of my defects lay.


  1. Yep, carol...you DO know how to do this:

    "...I gently set them straight if it is something simple."


  2. It is great to not get all ruffled when others tell me what I should or shouldn't do. Most of the time I can just roll along and not let their opinions bother me.

  3. I find the more intimate the relationship, the more difficult it is for me to do these things. My ego can be as quiet as a mouse all day but the minute my kids, my husband, or one of the women I sponsor (in other words, those I love and care about most dearly) rub me the wrong way, it can roar like a lion.