Thursday, April 23, 2009

Taking Care of Myself

Eating right, exercising, spending time with others outside of home and work. Self care works for me so quickly that I am amazed and motivated to practice it more seriously rather than freaking out and applying it like an emergency band-aid.

I notice a lot of feelings coming out today. I mean it in a positive way. With nourishment comes growth. With plants, with me.

What's good about today is that some days are easy. If I pay attention to self care I will have more easy days. And I always want more . . .


  1. Hi Carol,
    Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting. I think there are rules about the 55 words, but I've never seen them. I think they are pretty simple and few. You might find them on G-man's blog. I just make sure I have exactly 55 words.

    I'll look to see if you post one some Friday. It is fun.
    Prayer Girl

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Mary Christine said...
    "I am sorry that I wrote what I wrote yesterday."

    I, Mary, am so sorry
    That I was such a control freak
    I didn't know
    That I could be so cruel
    I’ll do a 9th Step
    Oh, AA, oh, Bill & Bob
    Oh – higher power, Oh – “doorknob”
    Oh, yes.

    You tell me the 12 Steps
    Is part of being insane?
    But that don't right
    The wrong that's been done

    I, Mary) am so sorry
    (So sorry) so sorry
    Please accept my Big Book
    But Zane Jabbers has only one eye
    And I was too blind to see
    Oh, AIDS, oh, dAAve
    Uh- Scott W
    Oh, yes.

    When Dick B. began to chronicle his version of events, some important points were underemphasized or left out.

    Unintentionally, surely, but left out nonetheless. A.A. is like a pie. So much went into its origin.

    Swedenborgian influence. Spiritualism. New Thought heresies. This was not the purity of Christ, but a toxic, spiritual stew.

    "Do not participate in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead even expose them." (Ephesians 5:11-12)

  5. One of the motivational phrases used in many 12-step programs is, “It don’t work unless you work it.”

    In reality they offer a plan of salvation to drunkenness based upon works. They have tried to implement biblical principles upon one sin, rather than the whole, and in doing so they missed the greatest part of the gospel message.

    That Christ actually sets you free! If anyone is in Christ he is a new creature, if anyone is in AA they are forever an alcoholic.

    "Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." - John 8:34-36

  6. Alcoholics Anonymous calls their book of the same name, “The Big Book.” This is the basic text for their society and it is referred to as the “book of experience.”

    It shares with members the steps to their recovery program and personal stories of the experiences of its members.

    Many Christians – One Sober Alcoholic - support and condone these 12 steps programs but a closer look reveals that groups like AA actually function in conflict with Scripture.

    Below are reasons why “The Big Book” cannot be used in conjunction with “The Book”, the Holy Bible.

    First we must remember that psychology is man’s attempt to solve spiritual problems. Any attempt to excuse, justify or label behavior is an attempt to cover up sin. God’s Word is clear, certain behaviours are sinful, not diseases.

    Galatians 5: 19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are fornication, uncleanness, immodesty, luxury,

    20 Idolatry, witchcrafts, enmities, contentions, emulations, wraths, quarrels, dissensions, sects,

    21 Envies, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like. Of the which I foretell you, as I have foretold to you, that they who do such things shall not obtain the kingdom of God.

    We need to realize that we are not ALCOHOLICS in need of SOBRIETY; we are SINNERS in need of GOD. We will never find God by trying to clean up our sinful behaviour one piece at a time.This is the wrong method to find true Biblical healing. A Christian does not keep their old clothes and simply sew new patches of unshrunk cloth on them, patching them up as they cleanse each sin.

    If they were to do that their clothes would be worse off with the patch, not better! Look at what Jesus said:

    "No man putteth a piece of new cloth unto an old garment, for that which is put in to fill it up taketh from the garment, and the rent is made worse.

    Neither do men put new wine into old bottles: else the bottles break, and the wine runneth out, and the bottles perish: but they put new wine into new bottles, and both are preserved."
    (Matthew 9:16 - 17)

  8. Kathy Lnne said...
    "Last night I was honored to be asked to give my friend her 4 year medallion. That's the one we got at Bill W.'s gravesite, if I didn't write about it let me know. I never imagined almost 2 years ago..."

    Dear Kathy,
    It is a fearful thing, leaving AA. The Big Book (the AA "bible") states, "We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not."[1] Because this passage of AA "scripture" is taken literally, alcoholics rarely look elsewhere for help. Christians continue to jam their God, the Ancient of Days, into AA's chameleon theology.

    "Do not participate in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead even expose them." (Ephesians 5:11-12)

  9. Kathy Lynne said...
    "People leave things at Bill W.'s grave, particularly medallions and the tradition is that you can take on if you leave one. My friend has her 4th coming up next month so she left her 3rd and took the fourth."

    Dearest Kathy,
    It is not just fear that keeps us bound to this all-gods religion. The 12 Step experience becomes an idol-long-term involvement almost always results in a transference of faith.

    Bluntly stated, when it comes to sobriety, many Christians end up with more faith in the power of the 12 Step program than in Jesus Christ.

    Mr. Bill Wilson, who was heavily influenced by demons, was founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) and creator of the twelve-step program.

    Chapter sixteen (p. 275f) of 'Pass It On' The Story of Bill Wilson and how the A.A. message reached the world records Mr. Wilson's use of the ouija board, participation in séances, psychic events, "spook sessions", table levitation, and how he would receive "messages" from "discarnate" spirits.

    Bill Wilson was clearly in contact with demons, and this is the man who created the deceptive twelve-step program.Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. (Step #11.) The last part of this statement ("as we understood Him") is enough to damn your soul! God says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.(Proverbs 3:5).

    This is the exact opposite of "God as we understood Him." All men, according to Romans 1:18-32, are condemned before God, because they rely upon their own understanding (Romans 1:21; Ephesians 4:18, "having their understanding darkened"), and they create (in their own darkened minds) a god of their own making (Romans 1:23).

    To encourage people to turn their "lives over to the care of God as we understood Him", is to encourage people to "turn their lives over to a god of their own making" (i.e. according to their own understanding).

    This promotes nothing more than spiritual death (Revelation 22:15). In addition, these twelve steps are a deceitful attack against the saving work of the Lord Jesus Christ (i.e. they are against Christ, anti-Christ, 2 John 7; Colossians 2:8-10).

    The twelve steps are (as Mr. Wilson used them) given as an answer (a way) in which one can overcome sin (with Mr. Wilson's case, the sin of drunkenness).

    Jesus Christ is the ONLY answer for sin. He is the only way (John 14:6). There is only ONE "step", and that is faith in the Saviour (Ephesians 2:8/Matthew1:21/John 8:36/Romans10: 13!

    The above exemplifies the "twelve steps" are what are used to "become free from addictive, compulsive" behaviour (i.e. sin). In other words, the twelve steps are the saviour!

    No doubt it is deceptive, because "Biblical principles" are interwoven throughout; but if they weren't, few (if any) would be deceived. One good question to ask would be, "Where does Scripture talk about any 'twelve steps'"? The answer? Nowhere!These twelve steps come from Satan (via Bill Wilson), who is the master deceiver (Revelation 12:9). Remember, SATAN used Scripture to tempt Christ (Matthew 4:6), and Balaam spoke much truth (Numbers 23-24); but he was a false prophet (2 Peter 2:15-16/Numbers 22).

    In Matthew 7:13-14 Jesus warned, Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.

    Jesus likewise warned in Luke 13:24, Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I say to you, will seek to enter and will not be able.

  11. THE 12 STEPSNowhere in the 12 steps does it say that you should quit drinking, or help anyone else to quit drinking, either.

    Nowhere do the words SOBRIETY, RECOVERY, ABSTINENCE, HEALTH, HAPPINESS, JOY, & LOVE appear in the 12 Steps.


    Rarely have we seen a person fail who thoroughly followed us home. Those who are not BRAINWASHED are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this garbage, usually men and women who are constitutionally capable of thinking for themselves.

    There are such fortunate’s. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born premature. They are naturally capable of building and developing muscles, which demands rigorous training. Their chances are 6/4 on.

    There are those, too, who are gravediggers and undertakers, but many of them do become ZOMBIES if they have the capacity to be dishonest.

    Our stories disclose in a twisted way, who we like, what happened, and who we hate now. If you have decided you want a cup of tea and are willing to go to any lengths to become emotionally shutdown, SHAPE SHIFTING REPTILES - then you are ready to take certain steps.

    At some of these we balked, we thought we could find someone to 13TH STEP, and we knew, we could. With all the madness at our command, we beg of you to become BILL WILSON CLONES - from the very start.

    Some of us have tried to hold on to our BIG BOOKS and the result was nil until we let go of our SPONSORS.Remember that we deal with alcohol, frothy, bubbly, and powerful! without help it is too much for us. But there is one who has all power that one is the BARMAN. May you find Him now!

    Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the bar. We asked
    The BARMAN for a couple of stiff vodka's.Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program to INSANITY :1. We admitted we were powerless over COCA-COLA, and decided to drink PEPSI, instead.
    2. Came to believe that COLD POWER was a detergent.
    3. Made a decision to turn our heads when we saw an attractive BLONDE.4. Did a BODY SEARCH of the new members.
    5. Admitted to our DOG, to elves, and to another super being the exact nature of our PONGS.6. Were entirely ready to have SUPERMAN remove the effects of kryptonite.
    7. Humbly asked CLARK KENT to remove our brains.
    8. Made a list of all persons who owed us money, and became willing to charge them interest.
    9. Made direct HITS wherever possible, except when someone moved the target.
    10. Continued to talk CRAP and when we were wrong, promptly talked more CRAP.11. Sought through our mail and computer to improve our conscious contact with BATMAN, as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of ROBIN and the return of SPIDERMAN.12. Having had a STROKE as the result of these steps, we tried to carry out the GARBAGE, and fell flat on our backs.

    Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain their homes and 13th STEP the newcomers, at the same time.

    We are not psychopaths. The point is that we are willing to become PSYCHOTIC, the principles we have set down are guides to psychosis. We claim that BILL WILSON was a PSYCHOPATH.Our description of the landscape, the chapter to the GNOSTIC, and our family photos before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
    (a) That we wereUGLY and could not manage our own appearance.
    (b) That probably no PHOTOGRAPHER could have improved our looks.
    (c) That a PLASTIC SURGEON could and would if he were sought.


    Have you tried fishing? Not your common or gardening angling, but “reel fishing”! Not with worms or artificial flies, but with “real meat”, like the 12
    or the BIG BOOK.
    We used to do it every summer…well! It was your summer and our winter. You’ve probably gathered that I live in Australia.

    We’d hire this boat, quite a big one it was, Ethel and the kids, Bill 44 and Bob…he’d be 37 by now. We’d do a picnic basket – lovely it was, our 5th STEP, sobriety dates, drinking stories, a couple of bottles of lemonade and
    the 12 x 12.And off we’d sail over the reef. The sun would beat down, often the sea would be as calmer than the 12th STEP and we’d just drift.

    We’d put our lines over then and just wait – play AA TAPES, talk "crap," and ring our SPONSORS. Wonderful it was!

    Mind you, Ethel, didn’t care for the bait, it was the smell you see and the sight of HOW IT WORKS cluttering up the deck. “Micky”, she’d say! “The AA PROGRAM is putting me off my dinner”!

    Well, it didn’t bother me or the kids, it wasn’t like that, the, OXFORD GROUP had delivered it quite fresh but Ethel used to say that CHAPTER 5 “sneered” at her and made noises, offensive noises, when the gases escaped from its crap.

    The kids loved that “Mum”! They’d say when it did it – “RARELY HAVE WE SEEN A ZOMBIE FAIL WHO HAS THOROUGHLY FOLLOWED OUR PATH”!Well she didn’t like that, not Ethel, strict SATANIST,she was, thought it was very disrespectful. She would go into one of her sulks and it would last for “bloody hours”.Mind you, she did get a bit more excited when BILL shared his story.

    Well she had to with BILL "frothing at the mouth" and banging his fist against the side of the boat. And then there would be more....BOB got into the act, tearing chunks out of the 12 STEPS, "spitting everywhere," snapping at BILL.

    But I don’t think she really approved, not Ethel. She said it was senseless 13th STEPPING. Well I suppose it was if you look at it that way! But there are lots of 12 STEP PROGRAMS aren’t, there?

    It went wrong when BIll did the 9th STEP! Huge it was, more like the 5th STEP, really. Again and again he raved on like a "psychopath," but he wouldn’t shut up. Clever “bugger”! He had learned you see.

    Well I was determined that I was going to do a personal INVENTORY. I threw the BIG BOOK, all the picnic stuff in the water.

    BILL went mad; I’d never seen him so upset. He tore the rod out of its restraints and hurled it in the water. I didn’t stop to think, that’s always been my problem, “being sober”BILL followed the rod!

    Well! He was gone in “two bites” and I didn’t catch the PROGRAM. It seemed to know; it sort of “grinned” at me and then just made off. BOB wasn’t too pleased either…he’d missed his "higher power!"

    Once more unto the meeting, dear STEPPERS, once more;
    or close the Group up with our Chairman in bed.

    In peace there's nothing so becomes a man
    as modest STEPPISM, and INSANITY :But when the blast of the “drunk-a-logs” blows in our ears,
    Then imitate the action of the ZOMBIE;Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
    Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;

    Then lend the eye to HOW IT WORKS;Let it pry through the portage of the head
    Like the brass cannon; let the mind be PROGRAMMED.As fearfully as doth a galled rock
    Overhang and jutty his confounded base,
    Swilled with the wild and wasteful SHAPE SHIFTING REPTILES.Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide
    hold hard the breath and bend up every BRAIN CELLTo his full height.

    On, on, you noble 12 STEPPERwhose mind is completely gone!
    Fathers that, like so many PSYCHOPATHShave in these parts from morn till even fought
    and sheathed their BIG BOOKS for lack of argument:

    Dishonour not your SPONSORS ; now attest
    that those whom you called “old-timers” did beget you.

    Be copy now to men of grosser blood,
    and teach them how to go INSANE.

    And you, good woman,
    Whose brain was altered with SATANISM, show us here
    The mettle of your pasture; let us 13th STEP you
    That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not;

    For there is none of you so mean and base,
    That hath not noble LUST in your eyes.

    I see you stand like BILL & BOB CLONES in the slips,
    Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:

    Follow your SPONSOR, and upon this charge

  15. FALSE PROPHETS :- 1ST EVIL SPIRIT said...I want to be able to talk about being a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous without anonymity concerns... 2ND EVIL SPIRIT said... I have been clean and sober since June 11, 1991. Sometimes thru Grace, and sometimes thru Exhaustive Work. 3RD EVIL SPIRIT said...A DAILY RECORD OF MY LIFE IN ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS...AND REMEMBERING HOW IT WAS.

    4TH EVIL SPIRIT said...Telling about what it's like to work on recovering from the affects of alcoholism through Al-Anon



    7TH EVIL SPIRIT said... Mama, don't you call him by his name. He can't hear you anymore. And even if he seems the same to you, That's a stranger at your door. JAMES TAYLOR, JUNKIES LAMENT

    8TH EVIL SPIRIT said...this started out as my journey of getting to the bottom of it... it is now my 'sketchbook' of things i find interesting on any given day.

    9TH EVIL SPIRIT said My personal experience and passionate gratitude having been graced with recovery through The Twelve Steps.

    10TH EVIL SPIRIT said"But the first salt wind from the east, the first sight of the lighthouse set boldly on its outer rock, the flash of a gull, the waiting procession of seaward-bound firs on an island, made me feel solid and definate again..." -Sarah Orne Jewitt
    11TH EVIL SPIRIT said...For my Sponsees. Ongoing posts to explain my personal interpretation, and preferred method, of recovering from Alcoholism, using the Basic Text of Alcoholics Anonymous as a template. Based on 20yrs sober life experience. I just add bits when I remember something. NOBODY, including myself, speaks for AA as a whole. Take what you like and leave the rest. Live and Let Live. The Principles of Unity and Tolerance of other people's views and opinions are FAR more important than ANY personality in AA. 12TH EVIL SPIRIT said...FACING LIFE SOBER, ONE DAY AT A TIME
    13TH EVIL SPIRIT said...I live in a cartoon world in my head! If I were a car I'd be a mini clown car speeding around the center ring, with lots and lots of clowns piled up inside just waiting to jump out after rounding the elephants a few times. 14TH EVIL SPIRIT said...Unlike a dog, how can a turtle ever be naked? 15TH EVIL SPIRIT said...TodAAy
    all we have is Todaay- Expect a Miracle
    16TH EVIL SPIRIT said...A private journal of recovery documenting how it feels to be newly sober and very, very grateful for each day of sobriety. I am a 45+ woman, a sometime political activist and a professional writer who lives in the Overberg region of South Africa 17TH EVIL SPIRIT said... Searching for a silver lining one day at a time. 18TH EVIL SPIRIT said...A POSITIVE ATTITUDE MAY NOT SOLVE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS, BUT IT WILL ANNOY ENOUGH PEOPLE TO MAKE IT WORTH THE EFFORT. I am an alcoholic and a sarcastic smart-ass. I am recovering from the alcoholism. My first and only sobriety date is September 5, 2003. 19TH EVIL SPIRIT said God's Grace got me back safely to Alcoholics Anonymous. Welcome to my experiences from a dark relapse. New sobriety date: September 24, 2007. 2OTH EVIL SPIRIT said...The fall and rise of one 30-something female alcoholic
    Sobriety date: October 25, 2005
    21ST EVIL SPIRIT said...God created alcohol to keep me from becoming President. Guess what? I'm sober. You should be nice to me now, and maybe I'll remember you. 22TH EVIL SPIRIT said...I am a sober member of AA since 1983 and I care a great deal about living in accordance with AA principles in my life today. Support of that concern is the purpose of this web presence. 23RD EVIL SPIRIT said... Its a life changing event being a recovering alcoholic and its a journey I want to share just in case anyone else like me is out there and wants to know just how good life can be when you learn to be sober.

    24TH EVIL SPIRIT said... If you want to be free again, just say know. The real hope in recovery comes from knowledge and self awareness! I can't stop my addiction to drugs and alcohol but....We can! 25TH EVIL SPIRIT said... I am a Gen-X, lazy, manic-depressive bastard, with an eating disorder, OCD, and a propensity for alcoholism. I am basically hell to live with, but I enjoy red wine, Ritalin, reality TV, and disdainful cats. This description could also be useful as a personal ad for a dating service.


    12 Step recovery programs are a slow slide into the jaws of Satan. I was involved with the evil “satanic cult” [AA] for over 30 years but was saved through the POWER of JESUS CHRIST.He directed me to a counsellor who was into “real” recovery, not the mind destroying, soul destroying, cult, which is AA. I have met two Steppers recently & I imagine they are completely devoid of any emotion or insight.

    I feel pain because both these men are decent human beings but AA has destroyed their "brain structure" & they have no idea how to relate apart from expounding AA propaganda.

    I imagine Hell to be a continuous flow of AA meetings without any light at the end of the tunnel because one is never REDEEMED.

    How is one REDEEMED, when one is handing one’s power over to AA. The 12 Steps were written out of Wilson’s head, he certainly didn’t get his guidance from the Bible.

    I imagine he was an agent of SATAN & he & Smith’s “cult religion” has filled millions of Steppers with their ANTI-CHRIST propaganda.

    Step Three of AA is "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him."While many in the Oxford Group placed their faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, there was much leeway given.

    Shoemaker, a leader of the Oxford Group, says, "The true meaning of faith is self-surrender to God."He further explains:
    Surrender to whatever you know about Him, or believe must be the truth about Him. Surrender to Him, if necessary, in total ignorance of Him.

    Far more important that you touch Him than that you understand Him at first. Put yourself in His hands. Whatever He is, as William James said, He is more ideal than we are. Make the leap. Give yourself to Him.

    Aside from capitalizing the "H," which Christians do to refer to the God of the Bible, "Him" could refer to any god of one’s own making - BEDPAN!Can you see what is happening to you? Ask JESUS to take control of your life, read the BIBLE & instead of 12 Step groups, go to Church. BURN your BIG BOOK or use it as TOILET PAPER.Can you see the difference: With The 12 Steps, one is being CONTROLLED by SATAN, but with JOHN 3:16 one is offered ETERNAL SALVATION. The “ball is in your court?"



    Is not the time coming, and the day hastening, when covetous men shall be ashamed of loving the world, and voluptuous men ashamed of loving their pleasures, and ambitious men ashamed of loving their honours?

    For is it not a horrid shame, that a rational creature should be such a sot as to love sin which is most loathsome, and not to love Jesus who is most lovely? To love deformity, and not beauty?

    Oh shame, shame! It is a shame that sin should have such esteem, and Jesus such great contempt put upon him.

    But shame shall before long confound these now shameless wretches, when they shall cry out, "We are ashamed that we loved profits, and not Jesus- houses, lands, lusts, and not Jesus.

    This is the confusion of our faces, and shame covers us-- that we should be so foolish, and so blind, that we had not sense, nor reason, to distinguish between sin, which is the greatest and most odious evil, and Jesus who is the greatest and most lovely good."

    But the time will never come, the day will never be, that a gracious soul shall be ashamed of his sincere love to Jesus Christ.

  18. Carol,
    Thanks again for the comment you left me.

    I would like to communicate with you privately. Please e-mail me at:

    Thanks and God bless,
    Prayer Girl