Sunday, May 17, 2009

Contentment or Denial?

I'm feeling pretty 'lazy' to put a self-denigrating spin on it. Let's say that I'm relaxing, enjoying time off and the lack of any serious need to do anything at all. My spiritual practice is still in practice. I have some garden variety irritations that are too minor to complain about. One of my favorite self-love, nurturing hobbies is to create good food and my refrigerator is full.

The point being is that I am uneasy that I don't have an ax to grind. I can see that there are a few things I could be doing but I refuse to beat myself up about. I accept that I tend to fuss about things and can see it as just that.

How can acceptance be so close to denial but so different? I would ask if I am fooling myself but that is so self-doubting that I refuse to turn that line of thinking into a well worn rut. Whatever my ego would like to label it, I am what I am in God's world, no need to embroider an explanation/story about it. Happy Sunday to you all.


  1. I wondered the same thing before. Am I truly accepting my situation as it is or am I actually in denial? I guess the fact that I recognize my situation for what it is leans more towards acceptance. However, that said...I am keeping it simple. As you said I am what I am. It doesn't get any easier than that. Enjoy your Sunday!

  2. its a fine line, sometimes I slip without even understanding that denial has taken over - and then i work my way back to acceptance...

    sorta like a balance beam no?

  3. Like your blog. Don't know how I missed you. I'm in AA. Been on blog July 1 '08. Seems like my friends all know you. Annie kelly is the place we are going to visit June 12-14, for her BBQ and STUFF--I know we'll be hungry after traveling alm 1,700 miles to get there. But I WANNA MEET SOME BLOGGERS!

    Anyways, nice visiting you--it's almost Tuesday now.

  4. That is a really good question! I think for me, I still don't trust my motives...and that's a good thing. I am really grateful for the women in my life through this program who remind me when I'm doing well and right size me when I'm not. Because truth is I just don't know yet.