Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sunny Sunday

Don't know if every is having problems with error messages and getting flung out of their blog today. I got thrown out twice when publishing comments, the second time I could not get right back in so I will post and leave the comments for the last thing I do.

Kathy Lynn mentioned that sponsorship might be tricky for CoDA members and I agree. There is less of it in Alanon and CoDA than AA because (my opinion) the issues are different. When I lived with active disease in Alanon I depended on my sponsor for her point of view and as a safe person who I could unload to without reservation. That was back in the days when I slept with my purse under my pillow, kept my prescriptions in a safe deposit box and did medical triage--will she just sleep it off or does she need medical intervention?

The thrust of CoDA is to enjoy healthy relationships eg. not turn any other person into a higher power. The very nature of sponsorship is a one up/one down arrangement, which at this moment is not where I want to go. But there are some in the program who refer to a sponsor when sharing and so I guess can still be beneficial. Others refer to co-sponsorship which is what P. brought up months ago when I approached her.

At this point, I'm feeling it out. I need someone to talk to and I would like one person to whom I can tell everything. We'll see how it goes, no matter what we call each other we have the beginning of a trusting relationship which will support our growth. Not bad for a week's work!

Now, if it is intended, my post will post when I hit the button!


  1. You must have hit the right button, and bloogger-spot must have 'heard' you.

    And..."the rose by any other name is a rose."

    Same with sponsor. Call her "Sir" and she is still sponsor, named "Sir!" Who cares...ever? So long as we, one-on-one, help one another to level a life (lives) with a balance we couls not achieve alone.

  2. I won't get a sponsor. I am willing to share 100% openly to all.. just my nature.. some do need just one person to share/trust...

    I'm an open book. I do have a favorite woman.. but I rather think of her as a MENTOR.. since she is almost 20 years older than me.

    I enjoy our weekly phone calls.. but I think of her as a friend too.

    I feel sponsorship is another form of codependency (just my two cents). I know some members don't make a move with consulting a sponsor.

    Me I do what i should do... end a relationship.. etc.. and than I'll share what I had to do and why (just to share.. not to have anyone help me in figuring out what I should do in my every day life).

    I'm not saying sponsorship is negative.. but to me it would be... And as mentioned I'm an OPEN BOOK... so I can share all in meetings; before meetings; and to anyone in the group over the phone. I do make phone calls.. but to just let it all out; after I had to make a major decision..

    Whatever works.. works for each person differently.

  3. I had several sponsors over about 7 years when i first got into AA. Then I went without one for about 12 years. I'm so glad that when I began to go to Al-Anon as well as AA, I decided it would be really important to find that one person who would know all about me. I'm glad I gave myself this gift of having a sponsor.

    God bless,

  4. Hi Caorl tahnk you for the comment you left over on my blog. Just one question what is "Shoulding". I'm not familiar with the term.

  5. It posted!

    I was having difficulties last week with Blog spot but so far this week all seems well.

    Have a great week!


  6. Carol, I think that a sponsor keeps me honest. There are things that I won't share in meetings but will share with a sponsor. And he calls me on my stuff. I believe what the BB says, half-measures availed us nothing. A sponsor is not about co-dependency but about trust. A sponsor is a guide through the steps. I had no clue how to work the steps but my sponsor showed me how. And it was a thorough way, not my way. I believe that the program is about full commitment and not letting my ego talk me out of it. I hear people say that they go to meetings and that they do daily readings. And I think, How many years do you want to go before you get into recovery? Just my take on this.