Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sunny Sunday

Don't know if every is having problems with error messages and getting flung out of their blog today. I got thrown out twice when publishing comments, the second time I could not get right back in so I will post and leave the comments for the last thing I do.

Kathy Lynn mentioned that sponsorship might be tricky for CoDA members and I agree. There is less of it in Alanon and CoDA than AA because (my opinion) the issues are different. When I lived with active disease in Alanon I depended on my sponsor for her point of view and as a safe person who I could unload to without reservation. That was back in the days when I slept with my purse under my pillow, kept my prescriptions in a safe deposit box and did medical triage--will she just sleep it off or does she need medical intervention?

The thrust of CoDA is to enjoy healthy relationships eg. not turn any other person into a higher power. The very nature of sponsorship is a one up/one down arrangement, which at this moment is not where I want to go. But there are some in the program who refer to a sponsor when sharing and so I guess can still be beneficial. Others refer to co-sponsorship which is what P. brought up months ago when I approached her.

At this point, I'm feeling it out. I need someone to talk to and I would like one person to whom I can tell everything. We'll see how it goes, no matter what we call each other we have the beginning of a trusting relationship which will support our growth. Not bad for a week's work!

Now, if it is intended, my post will post when I hit the button!

6 comments:

  1. You must have hit the right button, and bloogger-spot must have 'heard' you.

    And..."the rose by any other name is a rose."

    Same with sponsor. Call her "Sir" and she is still sponsor, named "Sir!" Who cares...ever? So long as we, one-on-one, help one another to level a life (lives) with a balance we couls not achieve alone.

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  2. I won't get a sponsor. I am willing to share 100% openly to all.. just my nature.. some do need just one person to share/trust...

    I'm an open book. I do have a favorite woman.. but I rather think of her as a MENTOR.. since she is almost 20 years older than me.

    I enjoy our weekly phone calls.. but I think of her as a friend too.

    I feel sponsorship is another form of codependency (just my two cents). I know some members don't make a move with consulting a sponsor.

    Me I do what i should do... end a relationship.. etc.. and than I'll share what I had to do and why (just to share.. not to have anyone help me in figuring out what I should do in my every day life).

    I'm not saying sponsorship is negative.. but to me it would be... And as mentioned I'm an OPEN BOOK... so I can share all in meetings; before meetings; and to anyone in the group over the phone. I do make phone calls.. but to just let it all out; after I had to make a major decision..

    Whatever works.. works for each person differently.

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  3. I had several sponsors over about 7 years when i first got into AA. Then I went without one for about 12 years. I'm so glad that when I began to go to Al-Anon as well as AA, I decided it would be really important to find that one person who would know all about me. I'm glad I gave myself this gift of having a sponsor.

    God bless,
    PG

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  4. Hi Caorl tahnk you for the comment you left over on my blog. Just one question what is "Shoulding". I'm not familiar with the term.

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  5. It posted!

    I was having difficulties last week with Blog spot but so far this week all seems well.

    Have a great week!

    Cat

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  6. Carol, I think that a sponsor keeps me honest. There are things that I won't share in meetings but will share with a sponsor. And he calls me on my stuff. I believe what the BB says, half-measures availed us nothing. A sponsor is not about co-dependency but about trust. A sponsor is a guide through the steps. I had no clue how to work the steps but my sponsor showed me how. And it was a thorough way, not my way. I believe that the program is about full commitment and not letting my ego talk me out of it. I hear people say that they go to meetings and that they do daily readings. And I think, How many years do you want to go before you get into recovery? Just my take on this.

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